In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Heather Toland for an honest conversation about loss, resilience, and the complexities of growing a family. Heather shares the heartbreaking story of her firstborn daughter, Lyla, who tragically passed away at just two weeks old after suffering strokes and seizures caused by a rare genetic disorder.
After losing Lyla, Heather and her husband found themselves navigating a devastating reality without knowing anyone personally who had been through an infant loss. Her grief therapist suggested exploring podcasts on pregnancy and infant loss as a helpful resource which led Heather to Emma’s Footprints’ podcast, Compassion of a Grieving Mother. She binged numerous episodes, finding comfort, strength, and hope in hearing other women and families share their personal stories of loss and resilience. Realizing that the podcast was produced by a full nonprofit organization, Heather reached out directly to Tracy Daly, the co-founder of Emma’s Footprints, who had established the organization after losing her daughter Emma to stillbirth.
When they were ready to try to build their family again, Heather and her husband navigated the process of specialized IVF and genetic probe development, enduring the agony of a chemical pregnancy, a failed transfer, and a miscarriage requiring a D&C. And when they later conceived their son Owen without assistance during a break from treatment, their joy was overshadowed by anxiety over potentially passing on the same genetic disorder and then a high-risk diagnosis of placenta accreta, resulting in Owen’s premature delivery at 34 weeks and a life-saving hysterectomy for Heather. Still hoping to further grow their family, Heather opens up about the emotional realities of parenting after loss, navigating toddler questions about a sibling in heaven, and her family’s ongoing journey to expand their family through gestational surrogacy.
Still connected with Emma’s Footprint’s, Heather credits the organization for restoring hope during some of her darkest moments. She now serves on the Board of Directors, mentors other grieving mothers as a Care Team Mom, organized Boston’s first annual Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Walk in 2026, and hosts local Loss Mom Meetups across Massachusetts. Although Heather doesn’t know what the future holds for her family, her story beautifully demonstrates how finding a compassionate community can transform profound isolation into collective healing, resilience, and lifelong advocacy for grieving parents.
Connect with Heather on Instagram at @heatherafterloss.
Register for the upcoming Loss Mom Meet-Up event on Nov. 15th at Soleo Wellness in Duxbury, MA.
And a special thank you to CCRM Fertility of Boston for sponsoring this episode and for their support and commitment to the family-building community.
Interested in sharing your story? Get in touch here!
