This episode of the AllPaths Podcast features Alisa DeLage, LICSW, a clinical social worker who shares her personal and professional insights into the complexities of family building. Alisa’s own journey began with the excitement of a pregnancy and the feeling like her story, married to her high school sweetheart, was unfolding exactly how it was supposed to. However a traumatic miscarriage at 11 weeks kicked off an 18-month struggle with infertility and loss. Amidst this, she and her husband navigated the complexities of kinship foster care for a young family member. These profound losses and the experience fostering eventually forced a shift in Alisa and her husband’s perspective, leading them to redefine parenting not by biological ties, but by the shared goal of experiencing parenting together.
The conversation explores the resilience required to transition to private adoption, including the joy of welcoming two sons and the heartbreak of a disrupted adoption match. Alisa reflects on how her background as a social worker influenced her path, eventually leading her to specialize in reproductive mental health to support others navigating similar trauma. She introduces the vital concept of disenfranchised grief, emphasizing the importance of naming the loss of one’s “story” as valid and worth grieving. By framing the choice to continue moving forward with treatments or appointments as a “quiet act of hope,” Alisa offers a powerful perspective for those who feel depleted of energy but continue to take the next step.
Beyond her personal narrative, Alisa provides clinical insights into how the community and medical providers can better support those living under the “cloud” of infertility. She highlights the difference between intent and impact, urging supporters to ditch assumptions and instead offer specific choices—like bringing dinner or simply sitting in silence—to reduce the mental load on the person struggling. This episode is a compassionate exploration of the cognitive flexibility needed to adapt when life doesn’t follow the planned script, ultimately finding peace and gratitude in a family structure that may look different than originally imagined.
Connect with Alisa at Harmony Within, LLC and find other family building professionals in the AllPaths Directory.
Alisa DeLage, LICSW, is a therapist, adoptive mother, and founder of Harmony Within, LLC, a telehealth practice specializing in infertility, pregnancy loss, grief, anxiety, and family-building journeys. Both personally and professionally, Alisa is deeply connected to the complexities of building a family through nontraditional paths. As an adoptive parent and clinician supporting individuals and couples navigating infertility, pregnancy loss, adoption, donor conception, and reproductive trauma, she is passionate about creating honest, compassionate conversations around identity, loss, belonging, and healing. Alisa brings a unique blend of clinical expertise and lived experience to her work, with a focus on supporting families through the emotional realities that often exist alongside joy and hope.
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