Colleen’s Journey: “Where are the casseroles?”

This episode features longtime member of the AllPaths community Colleen, who shares her journey through the emotional devastation of recurrent pregnancy loss and IVF. After five losses and two unsuccessful IVF cycles, Colleen and her husband decided to take a much-needed break, but in a shocking turn of events, discovered she was pregnant the day after the sudden death of her father. Despite her history of loss and initial expectation that it would end badly, the pregnancy defied the odds, with HCG numbers doubling quickly, leading to the confirmation of a viable pregnancy. Their son, Liam John (named after her father, John), was born prematurely at 33 weeks and six days and required a two-week stay in the NICU. After deciding to try for a second child with strict parameters, they successfully conceived their son Logan on the very first attempt, who was born full-term in May 2020 during the early stages of the pandemic lockdown.

Throughout the conversation, Colleen offers insights into coping with grief and the importance of community and advocates for using transparency and humor to break the isolation associated with loss, arguing that suffering in silence by “pretending I was okay” was the hardest part of the whole experience. From sharing about her experiences through her blog and social media and her volunteer work with AllPaths, Colleen has channeled her experiences into breaking the isolation and silence surrounding loss and the complexities of motherhood after loss, to help others feel less isolated while on their own difficult journeys.