By Alison Buonome
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My son and I recently read the book Party in a Petri Dish by Michelle Freeman and illustrated by Brooke Sodell. As a solo mom by choice I’m always looking for developmentally appropriate books to explain to my son how he came to be. He is about to be 6 years old, and we have already spoken about how I had always wanted a baby of my own and decided to have doctors help me make my dream come true. (You can hear about my journey on Episode 14 of the AllPaths Podcast.)
Something I thought this book does really well is that it is not too wordy. It is concise and to the point. I like how it describes how a baby is made without going into too much detail for young children. It says there needs to be a cell from a man and a cell from a woman, which I feel is very age-appropriate. I have read other books that refer to needing a “seed” from a man and appreciate more of a clear, scientific way to describe it.
Another thing I appreciated about this book was the way a sperm donor is described. There are a few pages that describe what a donor is and the process of picking the “perfect one to make me”. The story also mentions being grateful to a donor even if you don’t know who he is and that’s ok.
What ended up being the best part was the pages dedicated to watching the combined cells grow into a healthy embryo. This was a great segue to showing my son the picture I have of him as an embryo from the day they transferred it to my body. It’s pictured and described as little bubbles of cells, which I thought was a perfect, age-appropriate way to explain it. My son was excited to see himself as an embryo!
However, the book starts off with the sentence “it’s just me and my mom”. As a solo parent, the word “just” when used to describe our family of two can sometimes feel like it downplays the significance of something, even though it might not be the intention. I am particularly aware of this and try to avoid using the word “just” – it can carry an unintended sense of minimization.
Another part that I struggled with was a line on the last page about the possibility of a sibling in the future. While it was likely meant to convey hope, it felt a bit uncomfortable for me. It could bring up some feelings of longing or sadness if that is a sore point for the reader, as it is for me. Sometimes those parts of a book, even if they’re meant to be hopeful or anticipatory, can resonate in ways that are more complex and difficult to process.
All in all, I think this book is great to show that families come in many sizes and ours is just right for us. For solo moms, Party in a Petri Dish is a reminder that motherhood doesn’t need to look a certain way to be valid or fulfilling! I look forward to continuing to read more children’s books like this one that reflect families that look like ours.