Featured in the RNE Magazine, 2023 Volume
By Danielle Day
As we navigate this unfair world of infertility, it often feels like nothing is within our control. But there is one very important thing we can control, one thing that can make or break our spirit as we persevere towards the goal of creating our families – our inner power of choice.
We all have this power but are often encouraged not to use it. In fact, how many times in the fertility world do we get advice suggesting that “letting go of the need to control” can help us achieve our ultimate goal of starting a family?
The need to feel in control is natural. We are drowning in a swirl of information coming at us in the form of test results, medication changes, new diagnoses, unexpected financial burdens, advice from every corner on what to eat, what supplements to take, how much to move or not move our bodies, and on and on.
The need to feel in control in the midst of this kind of chaos is likely an evolutionary advantage that protects us from harm. We need an anchor in this storm, something that allows us to find even a moment of stillness where we can hear our own inner voice and remember that we always have and can use our inner power of choice. This power allows us to regain some much-needed control in what can often seem like a war with our own bodies.
While it may not seem like we have choices on this journey, because we don’t always like the options in front of us, we do always have choices. These include taking the time we need to make decisions about family building; choosing which paths, people and emotions best serve us; choosing to change our minds; and also, choosing to do nothing.
Because the desire to start a family is so deep for many of us, we will do just about anything to achieve that goal, including giving awayour power during the process.
We succumb to ideas, suggestions, and paths that may not actually resonate with us at our core. But because we are desperate, we reject our instincts and will try just about anything. We may place blind trust in the opinions of others, most of whom have good intentions, and some who don’t.