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In this episode, Toronto-based coach Reema Kiran shares her personal experience of becoming a single mother by choice. Despite initial fertility assessments suggesting she would have a high egg yield, her attempts at egg freezing resulted in only two eggs, a result she realized was not a sufficient “insurance policy.” This medical setback, combined with the feeling that her biological window was closing, propelled her into active family building in her mid-thirties. Reema’s decision to become a solo parent was also deeply influenced by her South Asian heritage and her parents’ arranged marriage which “wasn’t always a happy marriage.” Growing up in a culture where arranged marriage is common, she was determined to never settle for a relationship just to have children, even though choosing single parenthood was viewed by many as going against societal and familial expectations.
Once Reema made the decision to pursue motherhood on her own. She meticulously managed the donor selection process, eventually choosing an open donor whose personal values and upbringing closely aligned with her own, however her path was further complicated by unexplained infertility, leading to six unsuccessful rounds of medicated IUI before she transitioned to IVF. A pivotal turning point occurred after a devastating first round of IVF where none of her three embryos passed genetic testing, leaving her at the “lowest of the low.” This experience triggered a critical mindset shift from a “type A” need for control to a state of surrender, where Reema utilized her professional coaching background to navigate the emotional toll. After making the strategic decision to switch donors for her second round of IVF, she achieved a successful pregnancy.
Reema describes her pregnancy and the unmedicated birth of her daughter as an empowering culmination of her journey, supported by her family and a doula. Throughout the process, she learned to navigate the complex emotions of “grieving the fairy tale” of a traditional family structure while embracing the unique advantages of being a single mother by choice, such as having the final say in all parenting decisions. Now an author, consultant, and mother of a three-and-a-half-year-old, Reema provides emotional support and coaching to women considering similar non-traditional paths to parenthood, hoping to fill the gaps in support that she encountered. Reflecting on her journey through her coaching practice and her book, Choice Mom, emphasizing that her only regret was not starting the process sooner.
In an age where women no longer have to settle, Reema Kiran is an embodied voice in support of the growing number of career women choosing single motherhood. With her own experience through unexplained fertility and conceiving her daughter as a single mother by choice, the Choice Mom Coaching founder merged her established career as an executive coach with a management consulting company and coaching as a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation, to intentionally empower those no longer compromising on their motherhood dreams.
Reema is the author of Choice Mom: An Empowering Guide to Becoming a Single Mother by Choice and a speaker on the topics of single motherhood, fertility, and women’s empowerment.
Knowing that many women forgo this path due to societal and familial expectations, especially as an Indian-Canadian woman, Reema harnesses her deep empathy and familiarity with diverse cultural sensitivities when working with women on this journey. It is her belief that with aligned support and an unwavering commitment to one’s own personal growth, women can find the strength, resilience, and courage they need to pursue their innate purpose of becoming the mothers they’ve always wanted to be. Because no woman needs to go through this process alone.
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